In a recent post, Funkybrownchick mentioned that nice guys get less ass than cocky guys. I though about this for a moment and completely disagreed.
The only factor behind this I can think of is shyness vs. sociability. Nice guys may be less likely to approach a girl, thus diminishing potential encounters. For this post, let’s ignore this little paradigm. ;)
The way I see it, you need to have at least one of the two: personality or looks. A guy that’s good looking will get plenty of ass, cocky or nice doesn’t matter so much as long as they are sociable.
But, what about a guy that’s not at all attractive?
No looks + bad personality = recipe for loneliness
A nice guy, on the other hand, may not have looks. They may not be getting ass in the casual sense, but at least their personality can attract a deep and meaningful relationship.
This is also related to age and maturity. I see that younger girls sometimes like the bad boys. Again, their attraction is fleeting like the flavor of the month and does not lead to anything lasting. As they mature, many women move away from that “just for fun” mentality and start to think about serious relationships. Ultimately, it’s the nice guys that wind up with the prize.
That being said, some of you may be thinking… “So, the cocky guy gets first dibs?”
That’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s all a matter of preference. Personally, I don’t want a girl to just lay there. Girls with experience are simply better. That’s the exact reason I’m typically attracted to girls my age and older, rather than younger. (And would never consider dating a virgin, no matter how hot/interesting she may be. If anything she would be just a friend, without benefits.)
Cocky guys attract party girls, while nice guys attract smart girls. So even if it’s true that nice guys get less ass… I still say QUALITY OVER QUANTITY!
Would love to hear the women’s opinions on this one! =)
I’m a shy guy, when it comes to unacquainted girls. Every girl I’ve ever hooked-up or gone out with was introduced by mutual friends or actually came up to me and said something first (like my current girlfriend). I know that I could have had waaay more women if only I partook in the hunt. If I see a girl checking me out, I don’t follow up (even if I’m single). Maybe a glance or two back and forth and then right back to my book or notepad or whatever I’m doing. Guess I’m just not a pick-up artist.
I have no regrets though. Casual sex is not an attractive prospect; fucking for the sake of physical release is an empty shell of the actual act. I am very happy with the type of girls my nice-guy personality has reeled in, especially the one I’m with now.
On a related note: Nice guys actually do finish first!
6 comments:
The first dibs things kinda irks me. Seems to reek of the old mindset that the guy does the fucking and the girl is just there for it.
I usually take charge in sex and yet I don't ever say anything about driving a used car. Also I think a never used one wouldn't even make it a mile before slumping to a stop. :p
There is something to be said about the bad boy... he will ALWAYS be able to charm me into bed.
But then I'd sneak out at 4AM like a thief in the night after I've gotten mine and never call him LOL
Nice guys... yeah, can't say I've met any or rather, given them a shot :)
As I may have stated previously, you are wise beyond your years. Yes, you are correct in your assertion that women generally like bad boys. When I was younger, if someone was too available or too nice and caring, it scared me off. I hooked up with many a bad boy. You have to take the bad boy for who he is....a bad boy and never expect anything more than sex from him. On the other hand, I married who I thought was a good guy.....and he turned out to be a total asshole. I recently dated someone who was perceived as a nice guy and who was physically unattractive to me at first. He was absolutely brilliant, a writer, philosopher, commmunity activist.He also had a very wicked,funny sense of humor and shared my interests in movies, music and even television shows. The brains and humor took me to the second date and then on to a year of dating. The nice guy turned out to be a serial liar and the most egocentric narcissist I have ever met.
Lesson learned? In the end,it all boils down to chemistry, opportunity and timing. However, I will still choose a nice, quick witted, smart guy over a bad boy.
Anonymous - I like the analogy =) If you'd like to use a handle other than "anonymous" you can select the name/url option and just leave the url part blank. Thanks for stopping by!
Jaded - Why did I have a feeling you would say something like that =)
Cougar - Thanks again! =)
The guy you mentioned as a serial liar and narcissist, that would have been one interesting psychological study. Especially if he was good at it. It's difficult to figure out people with borderline personality disorders like that. Sometimes they seem just fine and "pass" along with the rest of us. Stressful situations bring it out though.
It['s interesting that you mentioned that "if someone was too available or too nice and caring, it scared me off". I've been the victim of that in my early dating life. My first major relationship ended that way. She ran off for a bad boy. I guess when you're young, the nice stable guy seems too much like daddy. =)
Cocky guys attract party girls, while nice guys attract smart girls. So even if it’s true that nice guys get less ass… I still say QUALITY OVER QUANTITY!
lmaooo
i think ur right on the money with this post
Hey Dejanae, thanks!
I wonder how the comparison would be if it were nice girls vs. bparty chicks =)
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