Cunnilingus - Tips for guys, from a guy

Every now and then I hear one of my female friends talking about an unsuccessful oral adventure. I’m sure for some of them it’s a psycho-biological issue, but for many it’s something else. Their guys simply haven’t perfected the right techniques and are too damn proud to take instruction from their ladies. So, I’ve decided to compile a little list of proven methods.

* Remember that no two women have the same exact likes and dislikes. Look at this as a starting point to be built upon later.

Keep it comin’ – The number one mistake guys make is breaking the rhythm. Us guys, we can stop and pick up right where we left off a minute ago. For the majority of girls, if you pause or break the rhythm of strokes and/or speed it’s right back to square one. Make sure you can breathe through your nose, so you don’t have to stop for breaths. You may also want to practice swallowing while keeping your tongue sticking out (unless you don’t mind creating a puddle of saliva). That was my biggest issue… having to pause to swallow, which sets the girl back a couple “steppes” from the plateau.

Get real – You have to know when to get serious. At first, playing around/getting fancy all over down there can be fun. But know when to bring it on home. When you’re in the home stretch be like tunnel vision and focus just on the clit. Use a constant speed and stroke (see above), and you’ll be at T-minus 10… 9… 8…

Know your enemy – Clits come in all shapes and sizes. Hey, that’s why god or evolution gave us flexible tongues. Typically the most effective method is to use the tip. The flat areas of the tongue just don’t seem to cut it. In addition, the underside of the tongue sometimes works better. The top is rougher, but flat. The underside is fairly smooth, but has all these uneven nooks and bumps which will add to the stimulation factor.

Use your neck – Doing all the work with just your tongue will make you sore very quickly. Depending if your girl is a quickie or not, you may not even be able to finish her before you go numb. The best method I can recommend is to flatten your tongue horizontally in between your lips, with maybe ¼”- ½” of the tongue protruding out. Stiffen it (by tightening the tongue and jaw muscles). Once you find the clit (There’s Waldo!), get it right on the tip of the tongue, with your lips on the top and bottom of it (will keep you from loosing it). Just keep your tongue and lips stiff and move your whole head side-to-side from the neck.

Walk, jog, don’t run – It’s generally a good idea to ease into it. Don’t just hit the ground running. Get it scintillating with slow but somewhat hard strokes of the tongue. (this is also the time to get all the fancy show-off stuff out of the way). You never want to go too fast, like to the point where the woman cannot discern contact from breaks in contact. It basically becomes as if something is just pressing against it and not really moving. This can get it sore before she can even reach climax.

Peaks and valleys – side to side, horizontal strokes are the stereotypical norm. This focuses on the tip of the clit, but that is not the entire erogenous area. If you really want to make your girl climax hard, try this: as you go side to side, each time you catch the top of the clit, push down into the valley on either side (so if you’re stroking left to right, you hit the tip and slide down the right side and vice versa on the back-stroke. Start slow and with moderate pressure. Work up an even pace and speed it up a little while keeping the pressure constant. If you’re doing it right, you’ll get a very obvious reaction to tell you so =)

Don’t be a pussy – I’ve met quite a few guys that simply have a problem with going down on their girls. For some the issue is fluids, others it’s pride and for a few it’s a bad past experience. Regardless of the reason, I say… C’mon! Be strong and overcome.

Don’t be a dick – Seriously dude. Don’t be a dick.

You’ve come a long way, baby – This may not seem like such a big detail in the grand scheme of any relationship, but take some time to absorb and practice these techniques. It actually can be very important, and being closer in this aspect can bring you closer in many other aspects, both sexual and not.

Just do it (No pain, no gain) – Yes, your neck will be sore, yes your tongue and jaw might go numb, yes you may have a “milk” moustache. So fucking what? Take pleasure in giving, not just in receiving. Having all three of these things is just a sign of a job well done.

If it hurts, do it differently – Cunnilingus does not always have to have the girl on her back. Why don’t you get on your back and let her sit on your face? This way, your neck will not get burned out and she can control the rhythm and pace herself. Just make sure you can breathe!

The golden rule – don’t be afraid to take critiques/instructions from your girls! She’s not trying to say that you’re inadequate. Remember, this is not instinct and we all have to learn and practice to really get good. Always remember that what works for one girl is not guaranteed to work for all girls.

Most importantly – BE GENEROUS! You know they deserve it.

Diagrams possibly coming soon. =)~