Sex Positive - It works!

Lately I’ve been reading up on the whole Sex Positive movement. For those of you who are not familiar, Sex Positive is an open and progressive ideology about sex education and practice, which aims to cure ignorance and promote comfort with one’s own body and sexual identity (among other things).

Consider the following vignettes:

A. Two people have their fun as young individuals, and later on meet and settle down because they feel ready and compatible.

B. Two people refrain from engaging in sex while they are young individuals due to social/family/peer stigmas. They settle down with their first love and start raising a family.

Remembering back to my middle school sex-ed class really puts things in perspective. Back then the program basically tried to scare you shitless. They talked all about disease and how terrible the effects are… and pregnancy. Did you see that fuckin’ video?!? - “The Miracle of Life,” or something to that effect. Sure I can appreciate it now as an adult, but as a group of 12 year-old kids it made us sick. And, I can tell you from the look on the girls’ faces… sex suddenly stopped being interesting.

So, what’s the problem with that?

Well… the assumption is that by holding off sex until you settle down with someone you love promotes monogamy and makes it more likely the marriage will work.

Bullshit!

Whether in the quarter-life or mid-life, most of us go through an “exploration” phase. So looking back to the above vignettes - what do you think makes it more likely a relationship sticks?

I think the answer is obvious. Whereas the first couple will be more prepared to deal with temptation from media and other people, the second couple may succumb to it. As the second couple gets older they can break free from the restraints of their community, which were so tight while they were young. Seeing and hearing about others indulging in the life they had shunned can cause a great deal of complex issues.

We have all seen the devastating turn that a mid-life crisis can take… ruining families in its wake. This is why Sex Positive is such a great thing… because when you’re married and have kids - it’s just too late to begin learning about sex.

Note: I’m sure people will say “It’s never too late to begin learning about sex!” Granted, technically it never is too late. But ethically, if it means ignoring obligations and commitments to your partner and/or children, then yes it’s too late (or should be).